A Rose with Starry Eyes











{February 14, 2010}   day 2 of water fast

I’ve decided that I’m to going to continue fasting til I’m 120 pounds; or 125, at least.

Day 2. My mom is making eggs and offered me some, but i turned them down. I’m pretty sure i heard mom and dad discussing Valentine’s goodies (chocolate stuff), but I don’t want any. So far I’ve turned down Rocky Rococo’s, Beans & Barley, Valentine’s goodies, and eggs for breakfast. Dad is currently making pancakes (with whipped cream and maple syrupsizzling bacon and just brought home the good-tasting type of icecream, but I’m not tempted. I can also see that someone got a box of angel food cake and devil’s food cake with frosting, but that stuff is just pure carbs and FAT. I don’t want any. (I feel that the more I remember my mental list, the more likely I am to continue turning down foods. After all, if you’ve come THIS far, why stop now for something that’s not worth it?) It’s only 9AM but I don’t feel hungry or anything. I just had a third a cup of orange juice and chew-spit a small pancake with whipped cream, careful to rinse all the crumbs out of my mouth by swirling water around.

My measurements as of this morning:

chest: 36 and a half / waist: 33″ / hips: 38″ / calves: 14″ / thighs: 20 and a fourth / upper arm: __ / under-bra: 30″

I now weight 147 pounds, down from 153 on February 7th. So I lost 6 pounds.

Xang has been online and commented on some things since last night but NOT on what I’ve responded to her. So she’s basically giving me the silent treatment, which frankly, I’m fine with. What I need to be doing is to lay low and just avoid talking about this stuff. I’ll get thinner and thinner and she’ll just stay the same. The best thing is that I won’t talk about it, it’ll just happen, and before she knows it, we won’t be able to share clothes any longer. We won’t be the same size, and when we go to the pool in the summer (like I INSIST we shall do), I’ll be a bikini babe and she’ll be the same ole Xang. No progress. I wouldn’t even be this bitchy about it if it weren’t for the fact that she was SO passive-aggressive about my water fast!

My brother and I talked last night. It turns out his crush is in the hospital, probably for a suicide attempt, although he was worried she might be dead. (I reassured him otherwise.) We talked some stuff about my ED, too; I asked him how he thought I’d look if I were 120 pounds, and he said I’d be extremely skinny. Also, I told him about how tempted I was to do chew-spit at the Beans & Barley store, and asked him if he thought it would work to not gain weight but still have the taste. He pointed out how wasteful it would be but said that chew and spit would probably work. (Though I’m obviously NOT doing that while I’m fasting. Even ONE OUNCE of food makes it past these lips and my body won’t go into ketosis. Without ketosis, I won’t burn fat like crazy and lose the weight. KETOSIS IS KEY.)

I want to keep going with the water fast for at LEAST 10 days, since that’s how long it takes to see maximum weight loss results. After day 3, your body goes into ketosis, so it basically burns fat as fuel instead of the sugars stored in your liver called glycogen. You lose about an two or three ounces of muscle mass on the second day, but on the third your body’s energy needs are almost fully met by ketosis. From day 3 onwards, the body’s rate of using fat as fuel increases steadily, up until Day 10, when it hits it’s peak. After day 3 I’m going on the elliptical and doing yoga, because I figure if my body is going to be in the maximum fat-burning zone, then I should be able to burn more calories when I’m there. I need to burn as many as possible, so maybe I’ll do callanetics then, too…

good links to add:



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