A Rose with Starry Eyes

{November 11, 2011}   life updates

I was IMing Dev last night for 4 hours. (He started IMing me, so I figured it was okay.) We talked about his ex-gf, whose name I think is Anne. She used to date his friend, but he went out with her anyways. She ended up breaking his heart so badly that even though it was last April, he still hurts – he cried about it last night when we were IMing, and later said if I didn’t change the subject he might start again. 😦

I asked him if he wanted me to talk to a woman I know who does pro-bono work, and he immediately went “don’t curse her!” , which I told him wasn’t even what I meant. I said it was going to be for healing. He insisted that he could heal himself, and that time had healed him before. To be totally honest, I don’t know anyone who

Pro- Con between Cliff and Dev



  • anime club friends would get closer
  • we’re linked by our friendship with Zen
  • has a great personality; caring, affectionate, passionate about his future
  • I could live at his dorm over the summer to avoid spending time with my family.


  • wants to be a “player”
  • has already broken my heart before; he led me on.
  • he just likes the attention
  • commitment phobic


  • has had girlfriends before, many of them.
    • pro: he’s experienced
    • con: he might compare me to others; I’m less experienced than him

Common Ground:

  • both are virgins.
    • Cliff is waiting til marriage; Dev is unsure.
  • both are total anime dorks
    • Cliff does cosplay; Dev goes to cons



  • he lives in my area
  • he’s been flirting with me already.
  • sarcastic, funny, attractive
  • I know he’s vulnerable and a romantic because of palm reading & how he was crushed over his old crush rejecting him.
  • has values.


  • he’s friends with Shiney
  • he used to have a crush on a sophmore.


  • his parents got married at age 19 and are still going strong, so he’s probably open to an early commitment, leaving that option open.
  • he hasn’t had a girlfriend before
    • pro: he won’t compare me to anyone else
    • con: things might be awkward since neither of us has ANY experience

The Plan:

An attraction spell has already been cast on Dev. The Obsession perfume has been ordered so that when I see Cliff I will be able to use it and make him fall for me. By having both of them fall for me, I will be able to decide with absolute certainty which one is better for me. Also, it will help me move beyond my resentment of Dev rejecting me and leave me able to make a decision without any interference from low self-esteem. (The idea of two guys fighting over me is definitely enough to make me feel stronger about myself!) We’ll see how long I can make both of them fall in love with me and even potentially keep both relationships going all summer. In addition to the spell-work on Dev, using the Obsession perfume near him will also strengthen the spell. Even if I ultimately choose Dev, it will mean that I have made him jealous and had Cliff as a distraction for a while. (plus maintaining a friendship with Cliff will keep him pining, strengthen his potential as a second option, and keep Dev on his toes!)

Obsession Perfume:

Attract anyone you desire instantly. Cause a specific person to fall desperately in love with you. Make even the most stubborn ex lover chase you instead. Make some one worship you and give you all you desire. Make your lover be Obsessed with you like a slave. Will not hear or listen to others, but will do as you wish.

{May 18, 2010}   in 10 years


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{May 14, 2010}   more boy news!

OK, so this guy who I’ll call Cliff in my Drama as Lit class was in a group with Xang and I and we’re doing a project together. Yesterday we talked and had fun, and I sort of realized how cute he was. At lunch today I stayed in the library a bit and then went into lunch. A few minutes after I came in, Cliff came over to our table. Everyone was playing Risk and he sat down too, and when his friend came over I mentioned gurren laggan, the anime I was watching earlier. It turns out Cliff’s into cosplay too, and he loves anime and acting.

So for class today, Xang didn’t show and it was just him and I. We spent the entire hour procrastinating and talking, and I started recommending tv shows and stuff like that, and writing it on his arms. It was definitely flirty, and we didn’t get anything accomplished. He has a great sense of humor though, and laughed at a lot at the stuff I said. We didn’t even start the poster we were supposed to do, so then I asked him what he had next hour. He had study-hall but had to do algebra, so I told him to skip it and make the poster with me.

We ended up in the hallways, trying to work on a poster about a question neither of us knew how to answer. In desperation, I flopped down on the poster- and when he asked me what I was doing, I told him to trace me. He protested, but then gave in. Then I made him lay down and I traced him. It was honestly kind of sexy to make a guy lie down in the position I wanted him to with his eyes closed so I could draw around him. 🙂 We did this for a while and I was sure to “accidentally” brush strands of my hair over him. We both ended up getting marker on eachother, and I even drew some ontop of his eye. 😛 When we finally started working on the poster, I talked him into staying late so he’d miss part of his next class. He agreed, but pretended to put up a fuss. As we talked, I found out he does acting outside of school and did a drawing of himself as the hulk, and I had to feel his bicep to be sure. (Surprisingly hot arms!) He also gave me his number. I talked him into setting up our stuff in the middle of the hallway so that we blocked almost all of it during the passing time. Then, being late for class, we went to our Drama room and lied to get a pass from the teacher, who told us to write them out and she would sign them. I filled his out as Batman and she signed it without even looking! Then we walked together to his class and later on, IMed eachother. I kept trying to flirt with him but he was oblivious, and also trying to IM 4 other people simultaneously. I did manage to ask him to draw me, however, and he said he would if I liked one of the works he did before, which be up around school soon.

I really like this guy. Obviously the voodoo spell will work and Dev and I will be together- it’s inevitable. But there’s nothing wrong with flirting and maybe even kissing until that lovable idiot finally comes to his senses! Plus, it’ll give him something to work for. I actually go an update from the voodoo woman about the strength of her attraction spells. This is what she said:

but my attraction spells never did fail this is for sure my dear. I did make even wedding happen with my attraction spell so you will have your results.

Your spell is going fine do not worry I am casting it twice a day and is doing all my power to make it as strong as I can.

xang said she was surprised that I liked him but she’s happy that I do, since Dev went from being semi-attainable to barely attainable, but now Cliff is attainable to me. She’s glad that I didn’t settle for the first guy I liked (meaning dev) and that I have three options now (including a cute sophmore who I rarely get to see).

{May 12, 2010}   radnom life updates

SO, dev has been running hot and cold on me, but I purchased an attraction spell from the voodoo woman and it will be done on June 1. More than 98% of people who get that type of spell (where the casting lasts for 28 days) see results within 3-5 weeks of the spell ending. Another good thing is that when the spell is kicking in, I’ll be posting bikini pics from zen’s party!

Different stages in the spell:

  • until June 1: energy and intent in the spell builds
  • 3-5 weeks after: the spell’s power is released and it begins to affect the target
  • June 22/ early July: target will be under influence of spell & make his move!

{May 12, 2010}   girl’s night out!

Zen told me that a month from now she’s having a girls night at her lake cottage and everyone’s going to dress up and do make-up and stuff. She’s inviting Ducky and Shell and gab and janis, and 3 other girls – plus me, of course! Since the cottage is on a lake, there’ll be swimming and kayaking too. She said it’ll be about a month from now. Plenty of time to get in shape and be bikini ready. (The thought being of course, that lots of photos will be taken and Dev might see one. Or many. And I will look HOT!)

Plan: to take adderall daily, and try to eat only about a thousand calories daily. spend lunch hour on the stationary bike and do callanetics nightly at home, with 5 Factor Fitness weights, too. (if possible, substitute both of these with kettlebells.) For a week before the party I’ll do a water fast.

I also need to drink TONS more water and up my fiber intake. (I have a lot of dead weight in body, and that should be fixed!)

ALSO: look into getting kettlebells, recommended 4x weekly. GREAT workout! Another option is the 30 day shred.

I’ll look hot, and to make sure that Dev sees, I’ll make it my new profile pic and IM him casually. Just to make sure he sees. 😉

To do before then:

  • shower nightly and apply ozonated olive oil to face before bed
  • dye hair a specific color. (either blonde or red)

kettlebells rec

oh yeah, i work out with kettlebells 5-6 days per week, for about six months… what i love best is that it only takes 20-30 minutes and you’re DONE! cardio + weight training all together. the circuit style is motivating, because it’s like… 40-60 seconds of hard work, but then you rest. i just tell myself “I can do it, it’s only 45 seconds!” pretty soon all the short segments are over!

it’s not so bad if you have good form. start slow, and only do that circuit two or three times I’d suggest starting with only 15-20 lbs (it sounds like a lot, but really it’s your whole body working together, so it doesn’t feel that heavy i promise!). youtube search that trainer, lauren brooks, she is the best and has great short videos on form!

{April 23, 2010}   AMAZING news!!!

OK, First I’ll start off with the amazing move and then move on to the mediocrity that is my usual life. 🙂

From 2 days ago (Wednesday):

I saw Dev the other day at the anime club that Zen invited me to. It was right after work and I was feeling drained so I almost didn’t go, but then decided, fuck it, I’ll go anyways. I wore a HOT green top that showed cleavage and wore dominatrix heels, though I ended up taking those off. According to Zen, he DEFINITELY noticed the top! 😉

He asked me why I didn’t go to the dance. First I claimed I had homework, which he scoffed at. Then I told him I didn’t have anything to wear. He said that he had looked through my facebook photos and that I DEFINITELY had things to wear! (He looked through my facebook pics? That is definitely a good sign!) I told him it was my friend’s dress not mine, and he insisted I could have borrowed it. I said Zen my wing-woman wasn’t there, and he said she would never go to a dance! It seemed to me that he was very keen on my going to the dance. (I also know that Dev had asked Zen why I didn’t go several times before asking me in person.)

There was also this one moment where he looked over at me and I saw him and I just felt lightning. I haven’t felt this way about someone for years! I also discovered that he sometimes randomly acts like a kitten, which I find unspeakably adorable.

As Zen walked with me to wait for my car, she told me that she had heard form a girl that Dev confides in that he had/ has feelings for a girl in Chicago, who lives too far away for him to have a relationship with her. Zen was afraid that I might be just a physical substitute for this other girl, and warned me of his commitment-phobia.

From yesterday (Thursday):

OK, so Zen talked to Dev for me, telling him that I didn’t ask her to because it’s “not my style”. So he told her that even though he thinks I’m “fabulous and all that”, he couldn’t date me til I’m 18, since he’s an education major and it might jeopardize his future job. He DID say that he wants to take things slow and get to know me, and would be willing to wait til I’m 18 to date me, and that he probably won’t date anyone til then. He said that he thought I would be taken though. And then… he did a FROWNY FACE!!! 😦

This is amazing. This is the first time in my life that I’ve ever had a guy think I’m great- and the fact that he thinks I’ll be taken by then just goes to show that he thinks I’m attractive, maybe even out of his league!!!!!

Strangely enough, Rachel Berry on Glee just got a boyfriend. It was in the Madonna episode, which I have to say ROCKED. I think I might end up using Madonna’s attitude as career inspiration in the future…

Anyways, my plan is to first order an attraction spell and specifically make him not care about the age difference. To fall intensely in love with me and do anything to make me happy; to not feel content without me. 🙂

Boy News!

I met a really great guy at my friend Zen’s anime club at her college. I think I’ll call him Dev in this blog. I’ve talked to him and we have a lot in common; he originally liked Zen but she decided he wasn’t serious enough. I saw him 2 days; both days we watched movies in the lounge with a bunch of other people. He was open to dating me up unil he found out about the age difference (3 years). It’s been forever since I met a guy I was this attracted to! I’m definitely going to try to make a move. When the time comes, I’ll try to slip some red into cupcakes I’ll bake for the club and hopefully he’ll have some! In addition, I’m saving up for a voodoo spell, which is detailed below.

Distant Future

I’m counting on getting a spell done by a voodoo priestess in Brazil to snag the guy I mentioned before. After that, she has a spell for physical body changes that apparently “changes aspects you don’t like” (1 change per cast, and very pricey). I think the best thing to do is to inquire if it can speed up metabolism, since technically that is a bodily change as well as an aspect I don’t like! Ultimately, I want her to make a ritual so I get into my first-choice college, at this moment, is UCLA. Her spell-work is expensive but it’s a legitimate Brazilian Santeria priestess and it’s my choice, anyways!

Spells to Cast Overtime

  • boyfriend: Dev to fall in love with me.
  • admissions to first choice college (UCLA)
  • get the loan/ find a co-signer for surgery; make parents okay with it
  • career: inherent talent, agent, big breaks, specific roles, charisma, Oscar
  • lose the weight (physical body change: metabolism)

Goals for the Year:

  1. Get a credit card.
  2. Get a BF (preferably Dev).
  3. Get loan for plastic surgery, schedule date.
  4. Get accepted to my first choice college.
  5. Get cast in some type of theatre.
  6. FINALLY lose the weight! (Via laser lipo, voodoo spell, whatever!)
  7. Take senior pictures looking absolutely perfect. (Nose job, hot bod, everything; head-shots, too!)
    1. Technically the deadline for this is the end of senior year. Be sure to use Xang’s photographer that she recommended! (Get a whole new skinny wardrobe from goodwill/sales rack and show off body.)

et cetera