A Rose with Starry Eyes

{May 14, 2010}   more boy news!

OK, so this guy who I’ll call Cliff in my Drama as Lit class was in a group with Xang and I and we’re doing a project together. Yesterday we talked and had fun, and I sort of realized how cute he was. At lunch today I stayed in the library a bit and then went into lunch. A few minutes after I came in, Cliff came over to our table. Everyone was playing Risk and he sat down too, and when his friend came over I mentioned gurren laggan, the anime I was watching earlier. It turns out Cliff’s into cosplay too, and he loves anime and acting.

So for class today, Xang didn’t show and it was just him and I. We spent the entire hour procrastinating and talking, and I started recommending tv shows and stuff like that, and writing it on his arms. It was definitely flirty, and we didn’t get anything accomplished. He has a great sense of humor though, and laughed at a lot at the stuff I said. We didn’t even start the poster we were supposed to do, so then I asked him what he had next hour. He had study-hall but had to do algebra, so I told him to skip it and make the poster with me.

We ended up in the hallways, trying to work on a poster about a question neither of us knew how to answer. In desperation, I flopped down on the poster- and when he asked me what I was doing, I told him to trace me. He protested, but then gave in. Then I made him lay down and I traced him. It was honestly kind of sexy to make a guy lie down in the position I wanted him to with his eyes closed so I could draw around him. 🙂 We did this for a while and I was sure to “accidentally” brush strands of my hair over him. We both ended up getting marker on eachother, and I even drew some ontop of his eye. 😛 When we finally started working on the poster, I talked him into staying late so he’d miss part of his next class. He agreed, but pretended to put up a fuss. As we talked, I found out he does acting outside of school and did a drawing of himself as the hulk, and I had to feel his bicep to be sure. (Surprisingly hot arms!) He also gave me his number. I talked him into setting up our stuff in the middle of the hallway so that we blocked almost all of it during the passing time. Then, being late for class, we went to our Drama room and lied to get a pass from the teacher, who told us to write them out and she would sign them. I filled his out as Batman and she signed it without even looking! Then we walked together to his class and later on, IMed eachother. I kept trying to flirt with him but he was oblivious, and also trying to IM 4 other people simultaneously. I did manage to ask him to draw me, however, and he said he would if I liked one of the works he did before, which be up around school soon.

I really like this guy. Obviously the voodoo spell will work and Dev and I will be together- it’s inevitable. But there’s nothing wrong with flirting and maybe even kissing until that lovable idiot finally comes to his senses! Plus, it’ll give him something to work for. I actually go an update from the voodoo woman about the strength of her attraction spells. This is what she said:

but my attraction spells never did fail this is for sure my dear. I did make even wedding happen with my attraction spell so you will have your results.

Your spell is going fine do not worry I am casting it twice a day and is doing all my power to make it as strong as I can.

xang said she was surprised that I liked him but she’s happy that I do, since Dev went from being semi-attainable to barely attainable, but now Cliff is attainable to me. She’s glad that I didn’t settle for the first guy I liked (meaning dev) and that I have three options now (including a cute sophmore who I rarely get to see).

{April 23, 2010}   AMAZING news!!!

OK, First I’ll start off with the amazing move and then move on to the mediocrity that is my usual life. 🙂

From 2 days ago (Wednesday):

I saw Dev the other day at the anime club that Zen invited me to. It was right after work and I was feeling drained so I almost didn’t go, but then decided, fuck it, I’ll go anyways. I wore a HOT green top that showed cleavage and wore dominatrix heels, though I ended up taking those off. According to Zen, he DEFINITELY noticed the top! 😉

He asked me why I didn’t go to the dance. First I claimed I had homework, which he scoffed at. Then I told him I didn’t have anything to wear. He said that he had looked through my facebook photos and that I DEFINITELY had things to wear! (He looked through my facebook pics? That is definitely a good sign!) I told him it was my friend’s dress not mine, and he insisted I could have borrowed it. I said Zen my wing-woman wasn’t there, and he said she would never go to a dance! It seemed to me that he was very keen on my going to the dance. (I also know that Dev had asked Zen why I didn’t go several times before asking me in person.)

There was also this one moment where he looked over at me and I saw him and I just felt lightning. I haven’t felt this way about someone for years! I also discovered that he sometimes randomly acts like a kitten, which I find unspeakably adorable.

As Zen walked with me to wait for my car, she told me that she had heard form a girl that Dev confides in that he had/ has feelings for a girl in Chicago, who lives too far away for him to have a relationship with her. Zen was afraid that I might be just a physical substitute for this other girl, and warned me of his commitment-phobia.

From yesterday (Thursday):

OK, so Zen talked to Dev for me, telling him that I didn’t ask her to because it’s “not my style”. So he told her that even though he thinks I’m “fabulous and all that”, he couldn’t date me til I’m 18, since he’s an education major and it might jeopardize his future job. He DID say that he wants to take things slow and get to know me, and would be willing to wait til I’m 18 to date me, and that he probably won’t date anyone til then. He said that he thought I would be taken though. And then… he did a FROWNY FACE!!! 😦

This is amazing. This is the first time in my life that I’ve ever had a guy think I’m great- and the fact that he thinks I’ll be taken by then just goes to show that he thinks I’m attractive, maybe even out of his league!!!!!

Strangely enough, Rachel Berry on Glee just got a boyfriend. It was in the Madonna episode, which I have to say ROCKED. I think I might end up using Madonna’s attitude as career inspiration in the future…

Anyways, my plan is to first order an attraction spell and specifically make him not care about the age difference. To fall intensely in love with me and do anything to make me happy; to not feel content without me. 🙂

Boy News!

I met a really great guy at my friend Zen’s anime club at her college. I think I’ll call him Dev in this blog. I’ve talked to him and we have a lot in common; he originally liked Zen but she decided he wasn’t serious enough. I saw him 2 days; both days we watched movies in the lounge with a bunch of other people. He was open to dating me up unil he found out about the age difference (3 years). It’s been forever since I met a guy I was this attracted to! I’m definitely going to try to make a move. When the time comes, I’ll try to slip some red into cupcakes I’ll bake for the club and hopefully he’ll have some! In addition, I’m saving up for a voodoo spell, which is detailed below.

Distant Future

I’m counting on getting a spell done by a voodoo priestess in Brazil to snag the guy I mentioned before. After that, she has a spell for physical body changes that apparently “changes aspects you don’t like” (1 change per cast, and very pricey). I think the best thing to do is to inquire if it can speed up metabolism, since technically that is a bodily change as well as an aspect I don’t like! Ultimately, I want her to make a ritual so I get into my first-choice college, at this moment, is UCLA. Her spell-work is expensive but it’s a legitimate Brazilian Santeria priestess and it’s my choice, anyways!

Spells to Cast Overtime

  • boyfriend: Dev to fall in love with me.
  • admissions to first choice college (UCLA)
  • get the loan/ find a co-signer for surgery; make parents okay with it
  • career: inherent talent, agent, big breaks, specific roles, charisma, Oscar
  • lose the weight (physical body change: metabolism)

Goals for the Year:

  1. Get a credit card.
  2. Get a BF (preferably Dev).
  3. Get loan for plastic surgery, schedule date.
  4. Get accepted to my first choice college.
  5. Get cast in some type of theatre.
  6. FINALLY lose the weight! (Via laser lipo, voodoo spell, whatever!)
  7. Take senior pictures looking absolutely perfect. (Nose job, hot bod, everything; head-shots, too!)
    1. Technically the deadline for this is the end of senior year. Be sure to use Xang’s photographer that she recommended! (Get a whole new skinny wardrobe from goodwill/sales rack and show off body.)

{March 18, 2010}   guest: CRON

We started making blends of green tea with herbals that I like, such as peppermint, lemon, or blueberry. But I often forget to drink my tea, and MR gets worried because EGCGs in green tea are so good for you that he quite demands that I drink a pot a day.

Consider that problem solved. I am in lust with genmai cha.

As soon as he found out that I had discovered a green tea I was crazy about, he phoned the restaurant to make sure he knew the right kind to order. Sure enough, it wasn’t sencha with barley, it’s sencha with roasted rice. He ordered it, and it just arrived a few days ago.

But I wasn’t allowed to have it until I finished the backlog of green and herbal blends he made me while I was in California.

“Oh, you are so two teas ago!” I thought as I consumed the last dregs of the pre-genmai cha era.

Then this morning he made me the first pot.

As soon as I smelled it I knew it was the right stuff. Slightly peppery. The first sip was ecstatic. Yep, that’s it. Unmistakeable. Real green tea but with an unpredictable twist.

I like to have something to sip on all day at work (and all night, in many cases, as organizers work 24/7.) This summer I discovered that I can’t drink coffee because too much caffeine at once gives me anxiety. This after years of being a hardcore coffee drinker, but anyway… sometimes you don’t know what’s hurting you until you accidentally go without it for awhile.

So all summer I drank decaf iced coffee. I’d brew it at home, super strong, and keep it in the fridge, pouring it over ice when I was ready to drink it. But it’s turned fall now, quite cool really just as of today, and it’s time for a new drink.

I’m on my second pot of the day.

link: http://www.mprize.org/blogs/archives/2008/10/

Sure enough, I needed a tetnus shot. And they decided to draw blood to make sure I had a baseline test, and then do follow up tests in six weeks. The chances of catching anything from a needle that had been on the ground for a long time (it was beat up, I saved it in case they could test it but they couldn’t) are almost nothing, but life-extentionists don’t take chances.

I don’t know if anyone remembers my stories of blood draws, but I am a very, very rough stick. You can see my veins, but they’re very hard to get blood out of.

Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. “I can see the vein, but I can’t get any blood out of it,” she says.

For some reason I feel compelled to offer an explanation. “I forgot to mention that I’m a vampire. I don’t have blood. Sorry bout that.”

She laughs. I make jokes when I’m in pain. Still, moving a giant needle around inside my arm. The room is once again going black again.

“I’m so sorry, but this isn’t going to work. We need to stop.”

She pulls the needle out of my arm and I hear a commotion outside. “Her partner is here, can he come in?”

Of course he can! And through the door walks an angel… well, actually a 37 year old man who vaguely resembles a giraffe but he’s my angel. I had called him while I was waiting to see the doctor but I didn’t realize he’d jump in the car and come to be at my side.

“Oh sweetie, thank you so much for coming.”

“I knew you’d have a hard time if they were drawing blood, so I came to hold your hand and take you home.”

I felt so loved that I figured I could get through another round of attempted blood draws, even though my attempts to stress myself out about work weren’t dulling the pain.

“She has tiny veins, use a butterfly needle,” he commanded the medical assistant. He is very protective of me and I love it. I’ve spent much of my adult life rescuing men from bad situations… I have what I call a Princess Leia complex, named after the part of Return of the Jedi where Leia comes to save Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt. Don’t worry, the princess is here to rescue you, and she’s holding a thermal detonator, isn’t that nice? But even warrior princesses need to be protected sometimes, and it always makes me feel so safe when this extremely soft-spoken skinny fellow takes over the situation.

The medical assistant did as he asked, much like my cat, to my amazement, does whatever MR tells him to, including jumping down from the counter on his command. It hurt terribly but they did get some blood out of me.

MR went to tell Jeannie that he’d take me home so she didn’t have to wait, and I drank some of the cherry Coke Zero he brought me (my favorite!) I stayed there resting with him holding my hand until I felt like I could get up, and even then he offered to carry me to the car if need be. One advantage to being both short and on moderate CR is that just about anyone can carry me if necessary.

{February 21, 2010}   quote of the day

“Jack: Rose, you’re no picnic, all right? You’re a spoiled little brat, even, but under that, you’re the most amazingly, astounding, wonderful girl, woman that I’ve ever known…

Rose: Jack, I…

Jack: No, let me try and get this out. You’re ama- I’m not an idiot, I know how the world works. I’ve got ten bucks in my pocket, I have no-nothing to offer you and I know that. I understand. But I’m too involved now. You jump, I jump remember? I can’t turn away without knowing you’ll be all right… That’s all I want.

Rose: Well, I’m fine… I’ll be fine… really.

Jack: Really? I don’t think so. They’ve got you trapped, Rose. And you’re gonna die if you don’t break free. Maybe not right away because you’re strong but… sooner or later that fire that I love about you, Rose… that fire’s gonna burn out…

Rose: It’s not up to you to save me, Jack.

Jack: You’re right… only you can do that.”

I wonder if anyone will ever love me this much. I don’t care that it’s a movie. I don’t care that women today are supposed to be realistic and jaded and detatched and expect “this sort of thing” from guys, the stupid, cheating, slacking, jerkwad type-of-behavior. I want LOVE, dammit.

And yeah, I know, you first need to love yourself before others can love you, and you have to find yourself worthy of love, but guess what? Fuck it. I wanna be in love, the type of love where you can tell him how you feel without embarrassment and take turns seducing each-other and just BEING with eachother is enough. The type of love where you never run out of things to say.

(The type of love that doesn’t exist…?)

Although maybe if you use conjures it can. I’ve read that red can keep men hopelessly devoted to you as long as you continue it.

  • one woman’s friend used it & even though she dumped the guy, he was and still is “completely obsessed with her.”
  • someone’s grandmother used it to make her husband never cheat & he became overprotective of her. they’ve been married for 50 years! the woman’s sister also used it on her BF of 9 years and he’s so crazy for her he seems to smother her.
  • a girl used it on her ex when they were still together (in food, protein shakes, coffee) and he loved her a lot. The effect was so binding & strong that when she broke up with him, he became hysterical & begged her to stay. He came to her house many times & refused to break up; the feelings he has for her are very strong. That is how strong this spell is.
  • one woman was involved with a married man & she cast a few spells on him & got him to take red; he then became obsessed with her & wanted to be around her all the time even though he had 4 kids & a wife at home. the target was even so affected by her pheremones that he could sense when she started monthlies & knew them like clockwork, enjoying her scent. the pheremones lingered in his psyche but she starred to feel bored with the relationship. he got so overprotective that every text or call she got was assumed to be from “another man”. it got to the point that everything she thought  in her mind he would say vocally. the more he connected with her, the more she chose to pull away, so because of her decision to split he ended up moving away, leaving his wife & kids and even still sending her emails saying he loves her & that “when he sees the beauty in the sunset, he thinks of her”. it was her decision to dump him and move on.
  • if the person is attracted to you from the start, the effects are immediately much stronger. (possibly begin the attraction via skull candle & Bewitching, Follow Me Boy, etc. oils? mixing catnip in with attraction bath salts is also good.)
  • once is enough, but it would probably work stronger & stronger each time.
  • Another example of excellent spell-work is when a woman used The Spider Queen candle numerous times which is just like Intranquil Spirit; she used Intranquil Spirit too, plus a binding spell & red figural candles that she started at different points of the table and then pushed them together. It just got to be too much at one time and the guy got really obsessive then she dumped him. But because she forgot to get rid of the remains (most love spells they tell you to keep the remains close to your home), he used to call, come over unannounced, and even tried to commit suicide because she didn’t call him back. She didn’t know why he was acting like that, but when she realized she got rid of it immediately!

Apparently I should also check out pg 152 of Hoodoo Herb and Root Magic to read “A Woman’s Thirteen-Year Rite of Capture”.

et cetera