A Rose with Starry Eyes

{February 22, 2010}   celeb measurements blog

How Audrey Hepburn Ruined My Day

Feb  13

103. 20. Those two numbers have haunted my every waking moment for the past three days. Even though I have a known weakness for numbers – body fat percentage! max reps! weight! calories! IP addresses! (xkcd, I love you!) – the tenacity of these two little numbers in my mind has surprised even me. Every spare moment this weekend when my brain has not been occupied, all I can think is 103. 20. 103. 20. Their power over me is tied to a third number: 5′ 6.75″

That’s right. My height. I’m nearly 5′ 7″ which may possibly be the one number I have always been quite happy with. I have never wished to be shorter and thanks to a weird complex I have where I always think I’m taller than everyone, 6 1/2 foot-tall men included, my height has always been a happy number for me. Good thing too since it’s not like it’s something one can really do much about.

My height also puts me in good company. Kate Moss is 5′ 6.5″. Angelina Jolie is 5′ 7″. Jackie Kennedy was 5’7″. And Audrey Hepburn, one of my favorite actresses and style icons, is my height exactly. (Well, she was anyhow. For those of you who missed the memo, she’s dead now. She died a few months before her 65th birthday of cancer.) Why do I care about other women’s heights? Because it gives me the information I need to compare myself. Sigh.

103 was Audrey Hepburn’s weight. 20 inches was the size of her waist. I found this out courtesy of one of the magazines I read that is supposed to promote health (in fact it even has the word “health” in its title so it must be true!). This same article also called Princess Di “normal” with a waist of “26” at her largest” and Kate Winslet “large” with a 28″ waist. But seeing as I do not share the coloring nor stylistic predilections of the tragic Di or the beleagured Kate, back to Audrey. It is said that all throughout her life and illustrious career, she made it a point to never exceed 103 pounds. And according to all sources, aside from her two pregnancies, she never did.

Let’s get real. 103 pounds (a BMI of 16.2) is a positively ridiculous number for someone of our height. Kate Moss, the Waif of all Waifs, is reported to weigh 114 pounds (BMI 17.9). Angelina Jolie, if you believe the tabloids, is near 110 (BMI 17.2). All are considered underweight to the point of it being a health risk. At my very sickest with my eating disorder, I never got as low as Audrey Hepburn maintained for her entire adult life. For me to get to 103 would require calorie restriction and exercise the like of which I dare not even imagine.

A 20-inch waist is also similarly extraordinary. One of my thighs is bigger than her waist. The only women that I know of that can even approximate that number are Vivien Leigh (Scarlett O’Hara) and Dita Von Teese, both of whom use highly restrictive corsets to achieve 18″ for the former and 16″ for the latter. Audrey’s waist was 20 inches even in a bikini. (For the record, it is reported that Dita’s uncorseted waist is a mere 21″.)

I know all this and yet I still pine for a 20 inch waist. Why would I do this? I am healthy – exceedingly healthy if you want to talk those kinds of numbers (you should see the blood pressure reading on this baby!) – so why aren’t I happy with that? It’s because deep down I yearn, like most women I think, to not just be functional but also to be beautiful. And I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder but for this beholder, Audrey Hepburn has always reigned supreme.

Part of my problem with this is that for everything that Audrey was known for in her life, being eating disordered was never one of them. She maintained an impossibly tiny figure without making herself ill. Good genetics, I suppose. And I imagine she was very careful with how she ate – there are certainly no records of her being a glutton. But here’s where the crazy voices kick in: Why does she get to be so thin and beautiful when for me that weight would earn me a one-way ticket to the mental health ward? Why doesn’t she look sunken-eyed and gaunt in any of her pictures? I lose 10 pounds and I have bones sticking out in all sorts of wrong places. And where did she put all of her internal organs? In her pocketbook?

I am embarrassed to say how much these numbers bother me. I have spent the last two days looking up corsets online and wondering if I could wear one under my gym tank tops without the Gym Buddies noticing (not likely) and still be able to breathe enough to do my cardio (extremely unlikely). I have been wondering if I ought to take out all oblique exercises just in case my crazy strong ab muscles are actually making my waist bigger – an assertion that Jillian Michaels uses in her book Making the Cut as her reason why she never does them – despite the fact that it would give me an unstable and unbalanced core.

There is a reason that comparisons are odious. Certainly I am stronger than Audrey, she being no fan of sport or exercise aside from dancing in her youth. And other than coloring (and height!), we share precious little with which to draw a comparison. So you would think that I could stop obsessing. But I can’t. I have admired her for so long that to learn that the reality of looking like her is so far out of my reach as to be a logistical impossibility feels terribly sad to me. A loss, even.

What do I do? How do I let go of the numbers? Has anyone mastered the art of not comparing? Seriously, somebody save me from myself (and also Women’s Health magazine).

link: http://thegreatfitnessexperiment.blogspot.com/2009/02/how-audrey-hepburn-ruined-my-day.html

{February 22, 2010}   guest star: tearsnomore87

Don’t like a 900 Calorie Diet?

I don’t care.
Have a pop-tart- that’ll put you at 1,200.
Or have a class of juice- BAM 1,200.
Have a health bar…
Getting the point?
Are we really going to keep going on and on about 1,200 calorie metabolism?
Don’t like my diet plan? Add stuff to it- make it your own.

I need consistency. Something that will keep me on track- at least for the weekdays. Weekends I tend to be a little more lax.
Train your stomach- shrink it. Don’t think about food.

DON’T keep a food diary– it just makes your hungry and it drives you CRAZY. “But a food diary helps me blah blah blah.” Ok- awesome. And? If you’ve ever tried to keep one, how long has that lasted? A week- at best.

DON’T take diet pills. NO NO NO. They’re super ineffective, they give you really nasty side effects and you end up wasting time and money. Although it seems like you may be losing weight the first week- it’s all lies. And you won’t keep it off.

DON’T become a crazy wannarexic knowing you weigh 160+ You’ll get there soon enough, if you constantly watch 95lb girl thinspo, it just gets more and more frustrating if you aren’t seeing results a certain week. Stick to your 10lbs increments.

DON’T spread out losing 10 lbs over a month. That’s just silly. Way to say “I’m too afraid to push myself, and don’t want to be dissappointed, so I’ll let this weight stay on me as long as possible.”
Let me ask you- how long have you been on a diet? Forever? I thought so.

DON’T stop making videos! Videos and youtube keeps you going. Best part about it- it’s FREE. Speaking of free…

DON’T buy bullshit you see on tv or in stores: workout dvds, equipment, diet plan systems, atkins book. There’s a ton of FREE information online. It’s hard not too. I really want to get that Shakeweight dumb thing- but I won’t. I’ll try reeeeally hard not to.

DON’T starve yourself. You won’t last that long and your weight loss WILL NOT be permanent. Fasting is a “healthy” way of saying starve. And even if you do fast- make sure you easy into it. Not BINGE because it’s your last day before the fast.

DON’T BINGE- My biggest problem ever. I eat a lot! A ton! Ask Phil. I eat so much and it’s disgusting how much I can put away. But then doing that puts my weight loss at a stand still for a few days and then maybe in a few days I can start from square one. If you’ve been reeeally good, it’s ok to be bad once in a while. But not ONCE A WEEK. Or once a day (after midnight) like me. How many of you out there are late night eaters? I was on the phone with Manny0219 a few weeks ago, and it was 3am, she was like “What are you doing?” and I said “Making mac and cheese”. And I ate the whole thing on the phone too. A mac and cheese box is 3-4 servings. Just cause it’s all in one BOWL doesn’t make it one serving. 😦

DON’T complain about being fat. EVER. Guys hate this particularly and it just irritates most people. It makes them feel forced to say something they may not really think like “No, you’re not fat.” If you think you’re fat, hearing you’re not won’t make it better. Then why mention it. I say it to Phil all the time. But it is really annoying. I’ve dated some guys who have said “Man, I love how you just never complain about your body. You’re just confident” When really I’m not, I just don’t say it aloud. Well to Phil now cause I feel comfortable enough with him. Recently he told me not to complain anymore if I’m going to keep eating like shit. He said “I don’t think you’re fat- but if you think you’re fat, fix it!”
Doesn’t this thong look like it should be facing the other way? And on a man?^^

What else could I say? Isn’t my puppy sooo cute??

I am running out of DON’Ts. I won’t make any DOs cause you can DO whatever you want. As long as you DON’T do those things ^








Keeping it Off

It’s the end of the first week and I have lost a total of 7lbs. Like I say in my videos, the first week is the easiest to lose. Now the trick is duplicating what I did and then some.
The #1 tip to losing weight and keeping it off is simple:
Weigh yourself everyday. There are people who say they don’t do it because they don’t want to become “obsessed” with the scale, but guess what? You need some sort of obsession with the scale if you want results to happen quickly. If you’re one of those “I lose 1-2lbs a week” people- fine. Weigh yourself once a week and I’m sure you’ve done fine.
But not if you’re trying to lose 20 in 14 days or a month even. There is nothing wrong with rapid weight loss. It is harder to maintain- but it’s not impossible. Weighing yourself is the answer. Give yourself a 2-3 lbs range maybe (I do a 1-2) if you’re at the same weight as yesterday, that’s great! As long as you’re not gaining.

Jackie Kennedy stayed between 124 and 130 her entire adult life. If she felt she was getting close to her 130 limit, she’d eat lightly for a day or two until her weight was where she wanted it to be.
Can’t let yourselves gain 5, 10, 20 lbs! If you’re already there, why give it all away?

et cetera