A Rose with Starry Eyes











{November 11, 2011}   life updates

I was IMing Dev last night for 4 hours. (He started IMing me, so I figured it was okay.) We talked about his ex-gf, whose name I think is Anne. She used to date his friend, but he went out with her anyways. She ended up breaking his heart so badly that even though it was last April, he still hurts – he cried about it last night when we were IMing, and later said if I didn’t change the subject he might start again. 😦

I asked him if he wanted me to talk to a woman I know who does pro-bono work, and he immediately went “don’t curse her!” , which I told him wasn’t even what I meant. I said it was going to be for healing. He insisted that he could heal himself, and that time had healed him before. To be totally honest, I don’t know anyone who



{May 14, 2010}   more boy news!

OK, so this guy who I’ll call Cliff in my Drama as Lit class was in a group with Xang and I and we’re doing a project together. Yesterday we talked and had fun, and I sort of realized how cute he was. At lunch today I stayed in the library a bit and then went into lunch. A few minutes after I came in, Cliff came over to our table. Everyone was playing Risk and he sat down too, and when his friend came over I mentioned gurren laggan, the anime I was watching earlier. It turns out Cliff’s into cosplay too, and he loves anime and acting.

So for class today, Xang didn’t show and it was just him and I. We spent the entire hour procrastinating and talking, and I started recommending tv shows and stuff like that, and writing it on his arms. It was definitely flirty, and we didn’t get anything accomplished. He has a great sense of humor though, and laughed at a lot at the stuff I said. We didn’t even start the poster we were supposed to do, so then I asked him what he had next hour. He had study-hall but had to do algebra, so I told him to skip it and make the poster with me.

We ended up in the hallways, trying to work on a poster about a question neither of us knew how to answer. In desperation, I flopped down on the poster- and when he asked me what I was doing, I told him to trace me. He protested, but then gave in. Then I made him lay down and I traced him. It was honestly kind of sexy to make a guy lie down in the position I wanted him to with his eyes closed so I could draw around him. 🙂 We did this for a while and I was sure to “accidentally” brush strands of my hair over him. We both ended up getting marker on eachother, and I even drew some ontop of his eye. 😛 When we finally started working on the poster, I talked him into staying late so he’d miss part of his next class. He agreed, but pretended to put up a fuss. As we talked, I found out he does acting outside of school and did a drawing of himself as the hulk, and I had to feel his bicep to be sure. (Surprisingly hot arms!) He also gave me his number. I talked him into setting up our stuff in the middle of the hallway so that we blocked almost all of it during the passing time. Then, being late for class, we went to our Drama room and lied to get a pass from the teacher, who told us to write them out and she would sign them. I filled his out as Batman and she signed it without even looking! Then we walked together to his class and later on, IMed eachother. I kept trying to flirt with him but he was oblivious, and also trying to IM 4 other people simultaneously. I did manage to ask him to draw me, however, and he said he would if I liked one of the works he did before, which be up around school soon.

I really like this guy. Obviously the voodoo spell will work and Dev and I will be together- it’s inevitable. But there’s nothing wrong with flirting and maybe even kissing until that lovable idiot finally comes to his senses! Plus, it’ll give him something to work for. I actually go an update from the voodoo woman about the strength of her attraction spells. This is what she said:

but my attraction spells never did fail this is for sure my dear. I did make even wedding happen with my attraction spell so you will have your results.

Your spell is going fine do not worry I am casting it twice a day and is doing all my power to make it as strong as I can.

xang said she was surprised that I liked him but she’s happy that I do, since Dev went from being semi-attainable to barely attainable, but now Cliff is attainable to me. She’s glad that I didn’t settle for the first guy I liked (meaning dev) and that I have three options now (including a cute sophmore who I rarely get to see).



{May 12, 2010}   radnom life updates

SO, dev has been running hot and cold on me, but I purchased an attraction spell from the voodoo woman and it will be done on June 1. More than 98% of people who get that type of spell (where the casting lasts for 28 days) see results within 3-5 weeks of the spell ending. Another good thing is that when the spell is kicking in, I’ll be posting bikini pics from zen’s party!

Different stages in the spell:

  • until June 1: energy and intent in the spell builds
  • 3-5 weeks after: the spell’s power is released and it begins to affect the target
  • June 22/ early July: target will be under influence of spell & make his move!


{April 23, 2010}   my life, mundane updates

My list of goals for 2010:

  1. Get a BF (Dev)
  2. Be skinny (voodoo)
  3. Settle plastic surgery (get loan/$, set date, etc.)
  4. Apply early to UCLA (get in via voodoo)
  5. BONUS: get mom a divorce, remarry rich

…Now for some stuff about Shiney.

One of my biggest triggers has always been that I want to beat her; I want to succeed everywhere she failed. Below I will list those areas and how I am going to succeed, unlike her.

  • BF: She got dumped by hers. If I start dating a hot college guy while she remains single, then I have officially triumphed! 
  • weight: This one is easy. I know she’s still crash-dieting and probably abusing adderall while chomping down goldfish, so seeing me as a 5′ 10″ 114-pounds Elyse Sewell-lookalike while probably bother her more than she’ll admit. >:)
  • fashion: She takes so much pride in her stupid “original” fashions that when mine turn out to be sexier and cooler-looking, she’ll be so jealous. (being twiggy will help me rock any style, too.)
  • career: obviously, if I succeed as a films actress, this will mean I win for life.
  • school: I’ll get into UCLA & I know she’s not a great student so she’ll probably stay in-state.
  • friends: This one will be tricky. _____

Another random note is that she is still using the journal I shoplifted for her as a present on her sixteenth 2 years ago. Interesting. I wonder if she remembers that when she uses it…?



{April 23, 2010}   AMAZING news!!!

OK, First I’ll start off with the amazing move and then move on to the mediocrity that is my usual life. 🙂

From 2 days ago (Wednesday):

I saw Dev the other day at the anime club that Zen invited me to. It was right after work and I was feeling drained so I almost didn’t go, but then decided, fuck it, I’ll go anyways. I wore a HOT green top that showed cleavage and wore dominatrix heels, though I ended up taking those off. According to Zen, he DEFINITELY noticed the top! 😉

He asked me why I didn’t go to the dance. First I claimed I had homework, which he scoffed at. Then I told him I didn’t have anything to wear. He said that he had looked through my facebook photos and that I DEFINITELY had things to wear! (He looked through my facebook pics? That is definitely a good sign!) I told him it was my friend’s dress not mine, and he insisted I could have borrowed it. I said Zen my wing-woman wasn’t there, and he said she would never go to a dance! It seemed to me that he was very keen on my going to the dance. (I also know that Dev had asked Zen why I didn’t go several times before asking me in person.)

There was also this one moment where he looked over at me and I saw him and I just felt lightning. I haven’t felt this way about someone for years! I also discovered that he sometimes randomly acts like a kitten, which I find unspeakably adorable.

As Zen walked with me to wait for my car, she told me that she had heard form a girl that Dev confides in that he had/ has feelings for a girl in Chicago, who lives too far away for him to have a relationship with her. Zen was afraid that I might be just a physical substitute for this other girl, and warned me of his commitment-phobia.

From yesterday (Thursday):

OK, so Zen talked to Dev for me, telling him that I didn’t ask her to because it’s “not my style”. So he told her that even though he thinks I’m “fabulous and all that”, he couldn’t date me til I’m 18, since he’s an education major and it might jeopardize his future job. He DID say that he wants to take things slow and get to know me, and would be willing to wait til I’m 18 to date me, and that he probably won’t date anyone til then. He said that he thought I would be taken though. And then… he did a FROWNY FACE!!! 😦

This is amazing. This is the first time in my life that I’ve ever had a guy think I’m great- and the fact that he thinks I’ll be taken by then just goes to show that he thinks I’m attractive, maybe even out of his league!!!!!

Strangely enough, Rachel Berry on Glee just got a boyfriend. It was in the Madonna episode, which I have to say ROCKED. I think I might end up using Madonna’s attitude as career inspiration in the future…

Anyways, my plan is to first order an attraction spell and specifically make him not care about the age difference. To fall intensely in love with me and do anything to make me happy; to not feel content without me. 🙂



{April 19, 2010}   life stuff
  • I’m taking so many classes during the summer that summer-school is going to be the equivalent of a full day of school. (Turns out summer break is really anything but!)
  • I emailed the voodoo woman under an alternate email (so she wouldn’t think I was bothering or spamming her!) and asked if one of the physical traits she could change might be metabolism. I even went so far as to say Gisele Bundchen’s metabolism would be fab!  🙂
    • Just realized that based off the time that she emailed me back on my other account, I’ll have to wait til later tonight to know the answer, since I emailed my question 2 hours after she logged off. (She emailed me back 16 hours ago, and I emailed her 2 hours after that.)
  • Not gonna lie, I am starting to get back into Glee. It’s a really addictive show… but I still can’t figure out which character I identify with the most!
    • I really wish I could sing like the girl who plays Rachel Berry. I’m listening to the Glee version of “Gives You Hell”. God, what I wouldn’t give to have that voice! I actually admire the character’s guts, too, on some level. Knowing that she’ll be a star no matter what and that the people who made fun of her will realize their mistake someday… I wish I could be that sure!

look up Diana Agron for thinspo



{April 19, 2010}   more random updates

I just want to type up a few random updates before I nod off to bed.

  • I found out that the Brazilian priestess will do the work for 50% of cost ahead of time and 50% on the day the working is done. Obviously getting the cheapest love spell offered will let me know if they work or not and I won’t be wasting my money on anything more costly that doesn’t work.
    • Her cheapest love spell is $290, which is $145 per payment. (I may have that much after my next paycheck.) The conjure lasts 28 days, so I’d need to make that much more in a month. (It’s a little over 20 hours to pay it off 1 payment.)
    • It says on her FAQ that the success rate of her spells is such that 98.7% had their results 3 to 5 weeks after they got the report that the work was finished.
    • Just to have found anyone whose spells work this well will have been worth any money I wasted in the past!
    • If the love spell works, then getting a Physical Changes metabolism spell would be thousands of dollars cheaper than laser lipo and also more permanent/ healthy. I would love to have a metabolism like Giselle Bundchen’s!
  • There was a really sweet old guy at work today who talked to me. I asked him about what book he was reading and he said it from Half Price book and was by a 6th century Chinese philosopher called… well, I’ll look that up later. He talked about a crazy Bible lady who got mad when he asked if the billions who weren’t Christian would end up in hell just for disagreeing with her beliefs.  I said I went to a Unitarian Universalist church for all religions in Brookfield and how Elm Grove wouldn’t give them land; he said it was good, upsetting the status quo. When I said there were many paths that lead to wherever (reincarnation, paradise, god, etc) he said that he guessed we had something in common! And rather than being completely normal about the whole thing like a normal person would, I opted to spend the remainder of my shift picturing him as my potential father figure. Sigh.

    • There was a lady who had an adorable dog in her car when I brought her food out to her. It was called a “teddybear”, a cross between a Bichon Frise and a Shih Tzu. SO cute.
    • I got SO hungry that I ended up occasionally shoving people’s extra fries into my mouth when I trashed their trays. They were really salty and rich, carby… But at least I restrained myself from eating 3 otherwise-perfect ones I’d found on the floor. >.>
  • Random as it is truly, I found this new pop song (old really, but new to me) called “Hot as Ice” – holy shit, it’s by Britney Spears! I didn’t know that til I looked it up just now. Huh.
  • I swear to god there was something else I wanted to type…. stupid adderall. I’d better be able to sleep tonight.
  • Oh, I also have showered only 3 times in the last 4 months since my surgery. Partly because I feel like I can’t be bothered, partly because my hair is so long it’s a bitch to comb/ untangle. So far no one but my parents have mentioned anything. Talk about conserving water!
  • I missed the Riverworld premiere on SciFi because of my job. Darnit. At least now we have DVR! 🙂


Boy News!

I met a really great guy at my friend Zen’s anime club at her college. I think I’ll call him Dev in this blog. I’ve talked to him and we have a lot in common; he originally liked Zen but she decided he wasn’t serious enough. I saw him 2 days; both days we watched movies in the lounge with a bunch of other people. He was open to dating me up unil he found out about the age difference (3 years). It’s been forever since I met a guy I was this attracted to! I’m definitely going to try to make a move. When the time comes, I’ll try to slip some red into cupcakes I’ll bake for the club and hopefully he’ll have some! In addition, I’m saving up for a voodoo spell, which is detailed below.

Distant Future

I’m counting on getting a spell done by a voodoo priestess in Brazil to snag the guy I mentioned before. After that, she has a spell for physical body changes that apparently “changes aspects you don’t like” (1 change per cast, and very pricey). I think the best thing to do is to inquire if it can speed up metabolism, since technically that is a bodily change as well as an aspect I don’t like! Ultimately, I want her to make a ritual so I get into my first-choice college, at this moment, is UCLA. Her spell-work is expensive but it’s a legitimate Brazilian Santeria priestess and it’s my choice, anyways!

Spells to Cast Overtime

  • boyfriend: Dev to fall in love with me.
  • admissions to first choice college (UCLA)
  • get the loan/ find a co-signer for surgery; make parents okay with it
  • career: inherent talent, agent, big breaks, specific roles, charisma, Oscar
  • lose the weight (physical body change: metabolism)

Goals for the Year:

  1. Get a credit card.
  2. Get a BF (preferably Dev).
  3. Get loan for plastic surgery, schedule date.
  4. Get accepted to my first choice college.
  5. Get cast in some type of theatre.
  6. FINALLY lose the weight! (Via laser lipo, voodoo spell, whatever!)
  7. Take senior pictures looking absolutely perfect. (Nose job, hot bod, everything; head-shots, too!)
    1. Technically the deadline for this is the end of senior year. Be sure to use Xang’s photographer that she recommended! (Get a whole new skinny wardrobe from goodwill/sales rack and show off body.)


{March 18, 2010}   life updates

First day of work is later on today.

I emailed the official CRON website and the website of a CRON blogger April and asked if they’d be interested in me since I want to go CRON at 18. Still waiting for a reply. (Of course, only works if I get my rich BF. No- when I get my rich BF.) I look at this plus corset plus kettlebell/yoga as my Ultimate Solution. I repeat:

CRON + corset + kettlebell  + yoga = Ultimate Solution

 

…Of course, the thing I look forard to the most is the way the woman whose hubby does intense CRON says that he’s happy all the time. And she says that her anxiety attacks have totally disappeared, that she doesn’t feel hungry, and that she has TONS of energy!!! 🙂

Speaking of rich BF, Bri emailed to tell me that the conjure is starting today. (Thursdays, apparently, are the best days to draw money.) My work also starts today. Coincidence? 😉

I’ll update later with how it goes.



{March 16, 2010}   randomness
  • Shiney, Miller yesterday, eyemakeup
  • water fasting now
  • figured out how to screencap last night! did Alice in Wonderland.
  • ideas for blog:
    • worst wannarexic story
    • triggering “feeling”
  • HOMEWORK!!!!
    • notes for criminal law; essay on TV episode
    • discrimination paragraphs (1 SOAPSTONE, 1 analysis) –> OVERDUE!!!
    • gym bobsled essay
    • ~
    • ~
    • ~
    • Faulkner’s “Benji” packet
    • Enviro Sci packets
    • “Badger Con” notes (due Thursday)
    • study for geography test (on Friday)
    • AP Gov essay; am I pro or con? Where did my packet go?!?! –> DUE MONDAY


et cetera