A Rose with Starry Eyes











{March 1, 2010}   quotes of the day

“I think your sister is pretty.”

~my bro’s GF Hally commenting on me, telling him instead of me because she though it would be awkward! 😉

So the other day, my brother’s GF came over. (In the hopes that she’ll stick around and make him happy for a really long time, I’ll give her a codename now; Hally.) I was just wearing PJ pants and a hoodie but she apparently thought I was pretty! It honestly made me squeal with joy to get a sincere complement from a total stranger; no one ever calls me pretty, and if they EVER do, it’s because they have to. I just make myself imagine how great it’ll feel once more people tell me that!

Mary: I really need to start starving myself… Rose is on a hard-core diet. I’m surprised you didn’t know; I thought you guys were really close.”

Xang: “She probably just didn’t tell me because she doesn’t want to trigger me.”

~paraphrasing a conversation between Xang and Mary.

OK, so long story short, Mary is a girl in my gym class who asked me about my Carnation drink a few days ago. I told her about it and ended revealing my diet to her. She didn’t really comment at the time, she was just sort of nice and polite, but later on she had a class with Xang. Xang has had issues in Miller’s class, first when Trish said she “tried being anorexic once but failed”, and today Mary says that “I really need to starve myself”. This got Xang pissed, which made Mary innocently bring up my crash diet. This is a trigger on multiple levels; first, I now feel accountible to Mary to show I lost the weight and stuck with it. My goal is to make Mary comment on my size! Secondly, she called my diet “hardcore”; I’ve never been called hardocre in my LIFE, so this is pretty cool. And I know she’s not ana, but I am determined to stick to a diet that a normal perosn would find “hardcore”. I know I can do it! Thirdly, Xang now knows about my diet. I don’t want to trigger her, obviously, but in a sick way, I DO want her to worry. Or at least notice that I lost the weight.



et cetera