A Rose with Starry Eyes

{February 12, 2010}   MY FIRST THEATRE AUDITION!!!

OK, so I went to the audition anyways. There were 2 segments to it: dancing and singing. The man said that if they like me enough I’ll get a callback to come in and read the script… I didn’t see everyone sing but I think I saw, maybe a little less than half the singers. The horrible thing was that the pianist SUCKED and literally played random sour notes that were at least an octave or two above my voice. According to mom, who was sitting in the back row, she could hear me quite well, which wasn’t the case for a lot of other singers! I got really nervous and a little bit scattered – the auditorium was huge – but in her opinion I was one of the top 25% singers. (There were some people who really sucked, though!)

I don’t know how many people they contact for callbacks, but I maybe have a shot….? Maybe. I’m on the lower end of the callback spectrum, though. I think my dancing was okay, I hope – there were some people who were kind of older/uncoordinated. I hope I at LEAST beat them!

I think I have at least a shot at a part in the chorus… Or maybe the part of Bet? She’s supposed to be about 16 and she’s an alto, too. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part….

I prayed to Expedite to get me the part of Nancy within a week – no delivery, no reward for the saint. I also wore the Crown of Success and Look Me Over, praying over both of them.

  • The part of Nancy is an alto, G3-G5. It is also a rather major part to play, since she has a lot of line and is included in many songs.
  • Basic Character History: Nancy is a late teen or in her early 20s, having been corrupted by Fagin at the age of 6. She lives with her abusive thief of a boyfriends, Sikes, who she stays with because she loves him. She doesn’t want to go to the trial because she claims she’s afraid people will find out about her, but goes anyways (probably because her BF Sikes threatened her). While Oliver is still captured by the gang, Nancy tries to help him by arranging to return him to Mr. Brownlow on a bridge at midnight if he brings no police. Sikes secretly follows her and beats her to death on the spot.
  • Deeper Character History: Despite her job as a thief & prostitute, Nancy treats Oliver in a motherly way; the original “tart with a heart of gold”. Dickens wrote her to illustrate his view that people, no matter how tainted by society they were, could still retain a sense of good. (Shown when she risks her life to help Oliver.) It might also prove interesting to highlight her attachment to her obviously abusive boyfriend; a mixture of lack of self-hatred and faith in him.
  • Accent is a key part to the character; she has an East London accent, which should also carry through in the songs that she sings as a way of showing that she’s a working class girl who can’t escape her roots, even while singing.
  • For my specific audition, I need to sing 16 bars of a song in my key (I’m an alto, so choose an alto song). I am torn between The Alto’s Lament and The Stepsister’s Lament. …What can I say? I guess I just must have a talent for lamenting! 😉 EDIT: I have decided upon the Stepsister’s Lament. I’m a bit afraid to ask mom where it is, but it’s that or buy it.
  • I looked online and the theatre I’ll be auditioning for is a community theatre, so less pressure there. (Or maybe more? I’m up against adults who’ll actually know what they’re doing!) But in the end, even a part in the chorus will help build my resume.


…Ok, I’m not even going to lie. I’m driving myself crazy trying to figure out tomorrow. Everyone’s going to sleep right now so I can’t exactly practice singing NOW! And… I feel like this audition will actually prove my worth, since the crazy bitch who casts the h.s. plays obviously biased. Plus, I’m going through kind of a lot of trouble to prep for an audition that’s tomorrow! I have like, literally a day to prepare. And I tell myself I’ll be fine with anything, but will I? What type of chances do I even have?! I can probably be passable. The part I want is alto, so that’s good. They’re unbiased, unlike my h.s. Plus, that horoscope thing gave me some confidence; the day before an audition is just in the nick of time! (For a reason, perhaps…?) If nothing else, an audition is a step in the right direction towards de-mystifying the process! Of course, I have a less impressive resume, am not a knockout singer, and I’m unfamiliar with my competition. I might get something, though… Maybe even something good!

{February 8, 2010}   auditions galore!

SO, my Drama as Lit teacher just showed me that online at the Journal Sentinel they have a weekly auditions listing. It makes me kind of ashamed that I haven’t gotten into better shape by now, but at least I have something to look forward to! Here are the ones that I qualify for currently:

  1. Falls Patio Players: Large cast of adults and children ages 7 to 70 for the musical “Oliver”. Adults ages 16+ will be seen February 9th. (Tomorrow! Shit! Too soon!!!) The auditions are that the Menomonee Falls North Middle School, so I guess it can’t be too intimidating; probably more of a community theatre-type thing. It requires 16 bars of a song in your key (which I don’t even understand!) plus sheet music for accompanist. Wear shoes suitable for dancing.
  2. Krakow Polish Dancers: Another one I should be thinner for! I’m going to need to do callanetics to get toned… Men and woman from 9 to 25 are invited to join the dance troupe, no experience neccessary. Rehearsals resume March 10th at some “Collins-Meyer Clubhouse” I’ve never heard of before. (I guess there’s no audition for it! Score!!)
  3. Lake Country Players: Large cast of men and women ages 16+ are needed for “Camelot”. Auditions will be held… in Hartland. (How far away is that? …It’s a suburb of Milwaukee, according to Wikipedia. That should be okay.) Auditions are 7 to 9pm February 15th and 17th; audition consists of reading from the script and singing a song from the show.
  4. Soulstice Theatre: General auditions for the upcoming season are February 15th and 16th at the Marian Center. Registration starts at 6PM; headshot with resume plus 2 contrasting 1-minute monologues.

…What’s really funny about all of this is the fact that, literally less than one minute before my teacher called me over to show me the auditions list online, I had just read my horoscope with Xang, which read:

Sagittarius: Get busy instead of hanging around waiting for someone to do the work for you. It’s important that you show how industrious you can be. It’s your efforts that will impress, not giving orders. Love is on the rise.

I immediately told myself that I wouldn’t even begin to know where to look, that I woldn’t be good enough, that it was meant for the future but for now it was ridiculous. And then when I went to sit back down after he showed me the website, Xang told me a horoscope had never worked so quickly for her. (Apparently someone from partial had the same thing happen to them; something a shrink told them popped up intheir horoscope that day.)

I think the Universe is trying to give me a signa good, swift kick in the ass! That’s what I need to get me going. I’ll be part of the Krakow Polish Dance Troupe for sure, which will boost my resume. I can probably land at least one other job…!

Ooh, I just checked the auditions listing again, and they’re putting on “Holes”! There’s a call for a group of teenage boys, and no monologues are required- all you have to do is read from the script! I think I might show my bro and see if he’ll audition, since he used to love Holes and I know he loves Shia LaBeouf! EDIT; It’s too far away to be realistic. I didn’t even tell him in case he was sad.

Some audition tips from lm forum:

  • Prayer to St Expedite: light a candle, put out a glass of water, put his picture down. Say his novena and include what you want, offering him pound cake and red flowers. Don’t give him these gifts unless you get what you want.
  • Candle Spell: Anoint the candle with Crown of Success Oil and Look Me Over. Burn it while you’re at the audition; anoint yourself with the oils and pray before leaving.

One more random thought: a short list to myself that I should follow to make sure I don’t procrastinate!

  1. Find contrasting monologues from that room connected to the library where the forensics lady keeps all her books; ask to photocopy some. Be sure to get two contrasting one-minute monologues to start with, drama and humor.
  2. Figure out exactly how you want to read the monologue, complete with vocal intonations, emotional cues, gestures, body language, any movements, etc. Then, record yourself doing the monologue on the mac. Be sure to read it slowly and give yourself time for pauses; imagine you’re in front of the judges and you have all the time in the world to make them remember you! Download it to your ipod and listen on repeat!
  3. When you think you’re finally ready to do the monologue, do it in front of a bunch of people. Xang’s family will do, or something else like that. Don’t hold back and tell yourself you’ll be more emotional once you’re at the audition- you won’t be. Get it right. Don’t let yourself get nervous in front of them, and don’t freeze or be insecure. Remember: you are the character. Any embarrassing fuck-ups are the character, not you. No one will think anything less of you for truly letting yourself go.
  4. Additional tip: DON’T rush through it! You only get one shot to impress the judges, and everyone else can wait their damn turn. This is your moment! 😛

{February 4, 2010}   this is INSANE. NOT FAIR.

There is SO MUCH to talk about. Good news/bad news time. Good news first:

  1. Mom and Drew have separately commented on my changed physique. I haven’t measured and I definitely need to work out more, but I seem slimmer now than I did when dressed in clothes I wore pre-op. (My stomach as well, not just my boobs.) My arms are slightly slimmer too, although I still haven’t started on the 5 Factor Workout plan!
  2. I joined forensics. It has gone really well and the experience has made me resolute to be at least a bit more social and also continue performing, to any extent I can. I got some really great feedback, especially stuff about my voice (sounding pleasant, etc).
  3. I LOVE my Drama as Lit class, and my teacher loves me. We read the first day of class and he asked if I’d done theatre outside school or auditioned for plays in school, and if I’d done forensics. Someone else said I should take initiative to find parts outside school! Jake invited me to do forensics, so that’s how I signed up. We annotated a play called TRIFLES, written from a feminist perspective. I wrote tons of annotations but am ultimately proud of my work; it was a really encouraging experience.
  4. I finally think I have my diet down-pat. I have it in 5 mini-meals which total less than 1000 calories when added up. I’m working on an elaborate diet binder which may or may not ever come to fruition.


Now for the shittiest of the bad news...

  1. I didn’t get the lead role in the play. Not only did I not get the lead role, I didn’t get ANY role!!! When I saw the listings and tried to talk to the director this morning, she was gone- I’d checked 3 times and she wasn’t there, even though her office was unlocked. The fourth time she was there but walked out while I stood, less than 6 feet away, saying “Um…”. She opened a door and as she was in the hallway, I called her name and she paused ever-so-slightly before shutting the door anyways. I tried to follow her down the halls but she was too far ahead and class was about to start. SHE DITCHED ME. She wouldn’t even answer my inquiry for constructive criticism, which is what I ask every year after getting inevitably rejected. Third year in a row and not a single part, not even playing the maid. The first years she told me that it was seniority and to keep auditioning and there’s a part out there for me somewhere. This year she tells me I “wasn’t animated enough” and “were you having an off-day?”; she then told me that she “didn’t see me mixing with everyone else”. It’s SUCH BULLSHIT. Not only should I have seniority this year but if I was so animated the last 2 years, why didn’t she cast me then?! The girl who ended up getting the lead- the Senator’s daughter– actually complimented me, saying she didn’t know I was such a great actress. So… the lead thinks I’m a great actress, and I don’t even get 2 lines, despite my loyalty. Brilliant. Anyways, then she’s all “I’m concerned for your feelings, I really am; maybe you can join crew.” My eyes were literally tearing up and my voice was so choked I could barely answer. I was humiliated. She is the most insincere bitch ever.  (I will analyze my audition in a later post.)
  2. Shiney is still in my damned life! She’s trying to command the attention of Xang, and apparently texting her about relationship issues. She was supposedly going to start forensics the same day as me but she never showed- I asked her about if she was involved and said I’d see her there, and maybe that might have scared her off….? I talked to her the other day, determined to butt into her conversation with Xang, and she still did that thing where she corrects your opinion. Annoying as hell. And I heard her behind me in the hall not 2 minutes afterwards chirping in that squeaky, teapot voice about how to best harm someone. (She always thinks it’s funny to talk about how to kick someone’s ass- probably a Napoleonic complex due to her midget-like stature. She used to brag about kicking people or kneeing them in the balls.)

et cetera