surprisingly detailed life updates

Truly Random Stuff Goes First

• My blog now has 22 followers and I have devoted myself to answering each of their questions. They’re all really cool! 🙂
• I’m starting the Shangri-La diet.
• My bro’s GF Hally finally kissed him. 🙂
• I dropped off dad’s shirt & the conjure money at the Bee and I’ll get an update in a week. Mom even came in with me and talked to the woman, and she later commented on how empathetic and sensitive she was.

Plans for Future Wealthy BF

What I need him to get me for college:

• conjure to get into first choice college ( UWMadison or Berkley)
• credit card in my name that he pays for (covers food, corsets, collapsible bike, dinair makeup, etsy stuff, clothes, gas, etc.)
• my tuition (esimated $20,00 according to here: http://www.admissions.wisc.edu/costs.php)
• pays for housing (dorms? sorority house? rent someplace?)
• a “smart car“; the new 2010 Toyota IQ (priced $13,000 to $17,500)
• mac laptop ($1000)
• trip to Brazil to get nose job, chemical peel, smartlipo

According to the conjure lady, I have to choose the top 7 qualities for the guy I want. Originally I wanted someone to sweep me off my feet, all charismatic and gorgeous, but now I realize a less social guy would be easier to bag…. Here are my top ideas:

1. LOVES to spoil me
2. good conversationalist
3. wealthy & generous
4. falls head-over-heels in love with me
5. would do anything to make me happy
6. travels a lot and LOVES to take me with!
7. he makes the first move (pursues me, asks me out, thinks it’s cute I’m shy/inexperienced.)
   

Stuff from Today

• Cool new rewards idea: I can get a self-published book of my ana writing! Like fave thinspos, lists, entries, etc.  That way I’m not reliant on technology and it looks legitimate. All my creative writings put together, all my triggers, like a legitimate ana Bible. A portable trigger.
• Shiney did her makeup that asinine way again, sort of an Egyptian liquid eyeliner look. I can’t wait to be thinner than her and show her what fashionable REALLY looks like….
• I think my goal is to reach 120 by the end of the school year. I won’t consider weight to be lost until I need new clothes.

I got the job at Culver’s!!!

• The guy who hired me said that they had literally 1,000 people applying, and were getting 35 online applications per day. NO idea WHY he hired me of all people, but he did! 😀 I guess it pays minimum wage, but I can save up and buy conjures and corsets and etc; my first conjure obviously will be the one for a wealthy BF, since he’ll be the gift that keeps on giving! XD
• I have my first day this Thursday; it’s an orientation. I think I get paid for that too…

Things I Need to Buy at Sentry’s

They’re having a huge sale at Sentry’s by my house and I need to stock up before the good stuff is gone. The best thing they’re selling is the boxes of flavored low-cal drink packets which are usually WAY expensive but the new off-brands sell for a dollar for 12!!!! 🙂

• off-brand low-cal drink packets (cherry and lemonade)
• boxes of gauze (for S.I., a la Alice)
• bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide (anti-septic to clean cuts,under $1)

I also need to shoplift some stuff, since I have less than $20 left. I should get:

• Hello Kitty band-aids (very Shiney! so additional trigger there.)
• vitamins/spices
• lighter/matches
• fiber products
• cheap, tiny notepad

Another Big Trigger: S.I.

Alright, the Alice cut in the movie REALLY triggered me. To make me remember that I am becoming like her, I am planning to walk to the local college library and do an almost ceremonial 3 cuts to my left arm in that one abandoned bathroom; I’ll use the Shiney-esque exactoblade, then the hot-stinging Hydrogen Peroxide and finally wrap the gauzy banadges the way Alice did in the movie.

Additional S.I./trigger ideas;

• burning tongue with hot water to cut down on food consumption
• something with fire, like a cigarette burn

quotes of the day

“I think your sister is pretty.”

~my bro’s GF Hally commenting on me, telling him instead of me because she though it would be awkward! 😉

So the other day, my brother’s GF came over. (In the hopes that she’ll stick around and make him happy for a really long time, I’ll give her a codename now; Hally.) I was just wearing PJ pants and a hoodie but she apparently thought I was pretty! It honestly made me squeal with joy to get a sincere complement from a total stranger; no one ever calls me pretty, and if they EVER do, it’s because they have to. I just make myself imagine how great it’ll feel once more people tell me that!

Mary: “I really need to start starving myself… Rose is on a hard-core diet. I’m surprised you didn’t know; I thought you guys were really close.”

Xang: “She probably just didn’t tell me because she doesn’t want to trigger me.”

~paraphrasing a conversation between Xang and Mary.

OK, so long story short, Mary is a girl in my gym class who asked me about my Carnation drink a few days ago. I told her about it and ended revealing my diet to her. She didn’t really comment at the time, she was just sort of nice and polite, but later on she had a class with Xang. Xang has had issues in Miller’s class, first when Trish said she “tried being anorexic once but failed”, and today Mary says that “I really need to starve myself”. This got Xang pissed, which made Mary innocently bring up my crash diet. This is a trigger on multiple levels; first, I now feel accountible to Mary to show I lost the weight and stuck with it. My goal is to make Mary comment on my size! Secondly, she called my diet “hardcore”; I’ve never been called hardocre in my LIFE, so this is pretty cool. And I know she’s not ana, but I am determined to stick to a diet that a normal perosn would find “hardcore”. I know I can do it! Thirdly, Xang now knows about my diet. I don’t want to trigger her, obviously, but in a sick way, I DO want her to worry. Or at least notice that I lost the weight.